Love potion number nine
by LunaGirl2001
Summary: warning, slight yaoi, but only for the sake of humor Miroku gets some help with Sango, but it works a little too well! What will happen if everyone falls for him except the woman he loves?
1. the insanity!

Love potion number nine

By: Lunagirl2001

"I see that you will bear many children in your lifetime."

Miroku smiled kindly as the girl blushed and giggled.

"really?" she asked

"If you want," Miroku said with that familiar grin on his face, "Tonight we can get together and prove-"

Miroku suddenly stopped as a large boomerang slammed down on his head.

"Pervert." Sango said with an annoyed tone.

Miroku sweatdropped holding the large lump on his head. "Hello lady Sango, I didn't see you there..."

Sango glared. "Come on you." she said pulling him backward by his ponytail.

"um...goodbye?" Miroku said before Sango dragged him away.

"why do you have to be such a pervert?" Sango asked as they got to the clearing they were staying at.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Miroku said innosontly.

"Yeah right." Sango said, "In case you didn't remember, we're supposed to be getting food not girls."

"I know, I was just..."

"Just quit the excuses and get some food. I'll tell the others you're on your own." Sango said turning around in the oppisite direction and walked away.

Miroku sighed. "I don't think I'll ever understand women."

"Espically since you're so terrible with them."

Miroku quickly turned around to see a woman standing directly behind him. she had long, black hair and wore dark red chinise kimono, with a slit to her thigh.

"Sorry, but I couldn't help but notice your conversation." she said.

"Am I really terrible with women?" Miroku asked, confused.

The woman nodded. "pretty hopless if you ask me."

"And since when were you such an expert?"

"Hey, I am a girl, aren't I?"

Miroku blinked. he reached out and put his hand on her.

"Yep! you sure are!"

Miroku soon found that this girl was as strong as Sango.

"Arg...my aching head..."

"If you weren't such a pervert, you'd probably have a girlfriend." The woman said.

Miroku sighed. 'perhaps she's right...'

The woman smirked. 'though...there is a way I can help you..."

"Huh?"

------------------

"It's about time Miroku!"

"Hello Inuyasha." Miroku sighed.

"What took you so long Miroku-sama?" Kagome asked, with a slightly worried tone.

Miroku put down the food he brought and sat down underneath a tree. "I...lost my money...though I found it later." he seemed pretty dazed.

"Miroku you sure you're alright?" Shippou asked running up to the monk.

"Hai...just tired."

He sat down under a tree as his eyes got heavy. He leaned backward into the tree out cold.

"Sango.. what did he do that would make him so tired?" Inuyasha asked as Kagome started putting the supplies in her backpack .

Sango glowered. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Inuyasha ran behind Kagome. "Why's she always giving me that look!" He said quietly.

Kagome sweatdropped. 'He's clueless.' she thought.

"Sango-chan, do you want to go take a bath before we start dinner? It should help you feel better-"

"Yeah that's a good idea." Sango said with a smile.

"Me too! I wanna come!" Shippou shouted as he leapt onto Kagome's shoulder.

"Besides it's probably a good idea to go while that pervert's out cold." Sango added.

And with that the two girls left.

---------------------------

Meanwile Miroku was remembering what had happened earlier that day, and why he was so tired.

"Love potion?"

"Yes. take a drink of this, and then with one look, the person will instantly care for you."

She gave him a small clear bottle that looked a lot like blue ink.

Miroku looked at the small bottle in his hand. "It sounds like mind control."

"No! It's not mind control, just a little potion. don't worry, nothing bad will happen. humans are naturally less sensitive to my potions, so you don't have to worry." The woman said with a smile. "The worst thing that'll happen is that you'll have to sleep before it starts to work."

Miroku smiled back. "Thank you miss..."

"Ren." the woman finished. "Master of potions and medicines." she turned around and started walking away.

"Farewell Mr. monk. I hope to see you again." she said.

"It's Miroku."

"well then, farewell Miroku."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Miroku."

"nnn"

"Come on Miroku! how long you planning to sleep?" Inuyasha shook Miroku by his shoulders. "If you're still asleep when the girls get back, you won't get anything to eat and then I have to hear your stomach make a racket all night."

Miroku opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with a pair of golden eyes.

"Oh you're so considerate Inuyasha. So the girls are bathing? In which direction are they?"

Inuyasha said nothing. his face turned red.

"Inuyasha? you ok?"

"Miroku..." Inuyasha said looking deeply into Miroku's deep blue eyes, "I never noticed how...how hansome you are."

"W-what did you say!" Miroku asked suddenly noticing how close his face was to Inuyasha's. He instantly started scooting away.

Inuyasha tightened his grip on Miroku's shoulders.

"Miroku... I think I'm in love." Inuyasha leaned foreward and pressed their lips together.

Miroku let out a high-pitched scream that was muffled by the hanyou. Miroku hit Inuyasha over the head to get the hanyou to let go.

"What is wrong with you!"

Inuyasha put one of his hands in front of his face to hide a light blush spreading across his face.

"I... can't help it." Inuyasha said, "I love you Miroku!" He hugged Miroku tightly.

"wh... WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kagome-chan, did you hear that?" Sango asked.

Kagome nodded. "Don't worry, Inuyasha probably just said he's not telling Miroku where we are."

Sango nodded. "Yeah, that pervert's hopeless."


	2. it gets worse

Love Potion Number Nine

By: Lunagirl2001

"Come back my love!"

Miroku shuddered. He never EVER wanted to hear that from his best friend. Currently, he was running as fast as he could away from the insane hanyou who was following him.

'I love you Miroku!'

Just thinking about it made him want to vomit. What was going on! He heard a roar coming from the direction he was running in.

"Kirara!" Miroku shouted happily as he ran toward the direction of the cat-youkai.

"Miroku!"

Inuyasha was catching up. Miroku ran faster. "Kirara! Help me!" Miroku felt a pair of arms hug him from behind.

"I found you." Inuyasha said, moving to pick up the struggling monk off the ground.

"I suppose you were just playing some kind of game…"

"NO!" Miroku responded, "You have gone insane! I do NOT have any feelings for you you crazy hanyou!"

Inuyasha thought for a second, and then grinned. "I get it you're kidding."

"ARE YOU DEAF OR SOME-AH!" Miroku was picked up by the back of his shirt collar and lifted into mid-air.

"Thank you Kirara." Miroku said climbing up the side of Kirara into her back. The giant cat meowed happily to say 'your welcome'.

------meanwhile-----

"That idiot. Why is he screaming for Kilala?"

Shippou climbed onto her shoulder. "Come on Sango, why are you so angry at Miroku?"

Sango laughed. "I'm not angry Shippou."

Kagome sighed. 'No, she's not angry, she's just sad.' She thought. "Why don't you just try explaining to him what he's doing?"

Sango looked at Kagome confused. "Pardon?"

"Why don't you try telling him that it hurts your feelings whenever he hits on other women?"

"Because it won't do anything." Sango grumbled, "He's always going to be like this. It's the path of life he's chosen."

Sango sank lower in the water. Saying this made her feel even worse than before.

"But…"

Kagome knew that both Sango and Miroku loved each other very much. Except Sango never wants to admit it, and when Miroku does, he says the wrong thing…

"But that doesn't mean you can't kick him down a new one." She finally said.

"Say what?"

A smile spread across Kagome's face. "You should tell him that you like him, and not the way he acts! Tell him you'd only give him a chance if he stops this bad habit of his."

Sango's expression brightened. "………that's sure to catch his attention!"

----------Back with our unlucky monk---------

Kirara landed back where the camp was set up. Inuyasha had set off and was currently searching for Miroku somewhere in the forest.

"Thank goodness that's over. Can you keep an eye on Inuyasha? You know, make sure that he stays away?" Miroku asked her.

Kirara stared.

Miroku looked at her. She had a really odd expression on her face—one he never saw before. She was staring directly into his eyes.

"Kirara? Are you okay?" He asked.

Kirara meowed and licked his face.

"Um… thank you Kirara…" Miroku started backing away. Kirara tackled him. She Nuzzled into Miroku's shoulder starting to open his robe.

"oh… my… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Miroku pulled away from the youkai and ran as fast as he could.

"Kirara is in love with me?" Miroku shouted as he looked back at her. Kirara was following him like a kitten after catnip.

Just as he was turning to look where he was going, he slammed into something… or more accurately, _someone_.

A tall man with long silver-white hair.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, who is this?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama! It's the monk who travels with the half-breed mutt, Inuyasha!"

Oh no. Now was definitely the worst time for Sesshomaru to appear.

'Why god. WHY!' Miroku thought miserably.


End file.
